i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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