I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
