We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
