You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
