just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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