I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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