Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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