yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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