It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
