I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
