if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
