why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
