No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
