Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
