Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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