so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
