Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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