Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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