they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
