Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
