"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
