just tell him i said nine months
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
