My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
