You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
