I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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