its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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