Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
