oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize