just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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