I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
