you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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