Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
