Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
