you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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