I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
