We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Shame - the story of my life.
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