I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
