My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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