On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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