The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize