i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
