So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I currently don't understand fingers.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
