we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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