a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
