his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
