They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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