God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize