Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
this will be a night to untag.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
