So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.