Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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  (504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku
  Replies (35) Good night (1045) Bad night (2859)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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  (717): this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation http://tfl.nu/knkc
  Replies (12) Good night (2437) Bad night (3185)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
  Replies (9) Good night (5711) Bad night (749)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol

  (540): View more from Virginia

  its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now

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  (540): come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol (540): its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now http://tfl.nu/0y7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (535)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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  (781): MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/90bv
  Replies (14) Good night (2091) Bad night (611)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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  (250): I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick. http://tfl.nu/pl6y
  Replies (18) Good night (981) Bad night (1906)
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  (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  (951): omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited (951): dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles http://tfl.nu/4z6p
  Replies (7) Good night (1446) Bad night (660)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (544)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

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  (920): Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/o6qd
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (843)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.

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  (913): Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis. http://tfl.nu/77ah
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (464)
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  (310): View more from California

  We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating

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  (310): We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating http://tfl.nu/6jwq
  Replies (17) Good night (869) Bad night (1508)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.

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  (248): Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good. http://tfl.nu/i36t
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (485)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

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  (614): I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help. http://tfl.nu/pypk
  Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (649)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no

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  (561): They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no http://tfl.nu/615z
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (212)
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  (760): View more from California

  I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.

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  (760): I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream. http://tfl.nu/cnux
  Replies (2) Good night (258) Bad night (606)

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