I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.