I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
