Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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  (717): Whoa Z and x make the same sound http://tfl.nu/syb7
  Replies (30) Good night (3441) Bad night (645)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (584) Bad night (2913)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.

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  (651): nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list. http://tfl.nu/o8v1
  Replies (13) Good night (3872) Bad night (502)
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  (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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  (510): called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic? (1-510): you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore. http://tfl.nu/b816
  Replies (19) Good night (2523) Bad night (705)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Some milfs here doing some blow

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Dad?

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  (203): Some milfs here doing some blow (1-203): Dad? http://tfl.nu/14p7
  Replies (64) Good night (3741) Bad night (8194)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

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  (252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co
  Replies (11) Good night (4881) Bad night (1085)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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  (717): yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup. http://tfl.nu/otef
  Replies (13) Good night (4257) Bad night (1356)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I want a grilled cheese and an IV

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  (518): I want a grilled cheese and an IV http://tfl.nu/ksb1
  Replies (5) Good night (2304) Bad night (819)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1528) Bad night (648)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.

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  (910): I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair. http://tfl.nu/qnzd
  Replies (4) Good night (1562) Bad night (1123)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1648) Bad night (628)
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  (714): View more from California

  Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

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  (714): Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends. http://tfl.nu/ft9d
  Replies (17) Good night (4385) Bad night (672)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!

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  (206): It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!! http://tfl.nu/ruwg
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (370)
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  (818): View more from California

  I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around

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  (818): I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around http://tfl.nu/btrv
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (685)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (510) Bad night (343)

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