Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.

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  (708): This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight. http://tfl.nu/ioqv
  Replies (30) Good night (9597) Bad night (1117)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far

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  (514): It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far http://tfl.nu/0vof
  Replies (37) Good night (1789) Bad night (4605)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

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  (919): sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer. http://tfl.nu/u6do
  Replies (13) Good night (6304) Bad night (1497)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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  (218): Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'? http://tfl.nu/wgpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1772) Bad night (4926)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

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  (845): I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right? http://tfl.nu/k79j
  Replies (2) Good night (3256) Bad night (1346)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

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  (802): Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade http://tfl.nu/ve1a
  Replies (22) Good night (2119) Bad night (3464)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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  (770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye
  Replies (6) Good night (4115) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  why is my forehead so bruised?

  (1+61): View more from

  i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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  (+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj
  Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?

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  (302): All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation? http://tfl.nu/0s1x
  Replies (2) Good night (1217) Bad night (637)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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  (952): Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?" http://tfl.nu/w3wv
  Replies (12) Good night (2712) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.

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  (407): I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/f7w3
  Replies (0) Good night (883) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober

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  (773): I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober http://tfl.nu/r8u7
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.

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  (727): I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns. http://tfl.nu/r79e
  Replies (2) Good night (1028) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience

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  (206): I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience http://tfl.nu/vnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  ORGASMS AND PIZZA

  (519): View more from Ontario

  PIZZA AND ORGASMS

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  (519): ORGASMS AND PIZZA (519): PIZZA AND ORGASMS http://tfl.nu/naxh
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (135)

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