nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
