the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it's like heaven, but drunker
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
