I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
