is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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