Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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