I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
