What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize