Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
